Mengajarkan anak-anak untuk bereaksi positif dalam masa tumbuh
kembangnya bukanlah hal yang mudah. Memarahi atau memukul anak Anda
untuk setiap kesalahan kecil yang mereka lakukan hanya akan membuat
mereka lebih memberontak. Tugas mendisiplinkan anak juga perlu ditangani
dengan hati-hati, dan lebih banyak cinta. Berikut beberapa kebiasaan
positif yang bisa orangtua tularkan kepada anak.
* Berperilaku baik.
Berikan contoh bagi mereka
untuk dikuti. Anak-anak cenderung meniru perilaku orang tuanya. Jika
Anda ingin mereka untuk berperilaku sesuai dengan keinginan Anda, maka
Anda harus mencontohkannya. Misalnya, membuang sampah di tempat sampah
atau makan mengunyah dengan perlahan. Anak Anda secara otomatis akan
belajar dan mengikuti kebiasaan tersebut.
* Bersabar.
Jika anak-anak nakal di tempat umum,
bersabar dan coba kenali penalaran mereka terlebih dahulu. Jika mereka
masih tidak memedulikan ucapan Anda, jangan sampai Anda mengeluarkan
kata-kata kasar. Beri penjelasan pada anak dengan suara lembut namun
dengan sikap yang tegas. Ingat, jangan pernah menaikkan suara apalagi
melakukan kekerasan fisik seperti menampar.
* Menghormati.
Selalu memperlakukan anak-anak
Anda sebagai orang dewasa. Mereka juga ingin dihormati dan dianggap
penting oleh orangtua mereka. Puji mereka atas tugas yang mereka lakukan
dengan baik. Libatkan anak dalam membuat keputusan terutama terkait
keperluan mereka seperti dalam memilih pakaian, sepatu atau warna cat
kamar mereka.
* Tidak mudah marah.
Cobalah untuk tidak memarahi
anak Anda. Jika Anda kehilangan kesabaran, tetap tenang menghadapi anak
Anda. Tetap tunjukkan sikap bahwa Anda sedang berusaha untuk mengajar
anak Anda. Misalnya, mengatakan 'tolong' atau 'maaf' agar anak Anda
tetap tahu apa yang sedang Anda coba ajarkan padanya.
* Tidak berteriak.
Jika anak Anda bertingkah di
depan tamu, jangan berteriak pada mereka. Tunggu sampai tamu pergi dan
kemudian jelaskan secara tegas bahwa perilaku semacam itu tadi
benar-benar tidak dapat diterima jika dilakukan di depan orang lain. Dan
juga, peringatkan mereka untuk tidak mengulangi perilaku itu lagi, Anda
harus mengambil tindakan tegas pada mereka.
* Murah hati.
Selalu pastikan setiap kali Anda
mengajarkan anak berperilaku baik, harus diikuti dengan kemurahan hati
dan kebaikan. Dengan bersikap murah hati, anak akan menyadari bahwa
setegas apa pun orangtuanya, cinta untuknya tidak akan berkurang. Dengan
begitu, justru anak lebih mudah memahami sikap apa saja yang sebaiknya
tidak dilakukan karena orangtuanya tak menyukainya.
http://female.kompas.com
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Monday, January 6, 2014
LIMA MENIT LAGI.
Seorang ibu duduk di samping seorang pria di bangku dekat taman bermain di Westcoast Park, pada suatu minggu pagi yang cerah.
“Itu anakku,” kata si ibu sambil menunjuk seorang anak
kecil dengan t-shirt merah yang sedang bermain perosotan. Mata ibu itu
berbinar bangga.
“Wah, hebat sekali,” Kata Bapak di
sebelahnya. “Lihat anak berkaos biru yang sedang main ayunan? Itu putra
saya.” Si pria memperkenalkan.
Lalu sambil melihat arloji, ia berseru memanggil anaknya,”Ayo Jack, bagaimana kalau sekarang kita pulang.”
Jack, anak kecil itu setengah memelas berkata,”Kalau lima
menit lagi boleh ya, Pa. Sebentar saja, hanya tambah lima menit kok.”
Pria itu mengangguk dan Jack meneruskan main ayunan untuk memuaskan
hatinya. Setelah lewat lima menit, sang ayah berdiri dan memanggil
anaknya lagi,”Ayo nak, sudah lima menit bahkan sudah lebih, sudah
waktunya kita pulang.”
Lagi-lagi Jack memohon,”Lima
menit lagi ya, Pa. Tambah lima menit lagi, boleh kan?” pintanya sambil
menggaruk-garuk kepalanya.
Pria itu sambil tersenyum menjawab,”Baiklah, silahkan.”
“Wah, bapak pasti seorang yang sabar,” kata ibu yang di
sebelahnya yang melihat adegan itu tersenyum karena sikap laki-laki itu.
“Putraku yang lebih tua, John, tahun lalu terbunuh selagi
bersepeda di dekat sini oleh sopir yang mabuk. Tahu tidak, aku tak
pernah memberikan cukup waktu untuk John. Sekarang apapun yang bisa
kuberikan pada Jack, asalkan aku bisa bersamanya sekalipun hanya untuk
lima menit lagi dan lima menit lagi. Saya bernazar untuk tidak
mengulangi kesalahan yang sama terhadap Jack, seperti pada anak
tertuaku. Ia pikir dapat lima menit tambahan waktu untuk bermain,
padahal sebenarnya sayalah yang mendapat tambahan waktu untuk bersama
dia, memandangi ia bermain, menikmati tawa bahagianya.”
Mari belajar berhikmat dari kisah ini. Hidup adalah masalah membuat
prioritas. Prioritas apa yang anda miliki saat ini. Berikanlah kepada
orang yang anda kasihi, lima menit saja dari waktumu dan engkau tidak
akan menyesal selamanya. Hidup ini berarti dan bisa dibuat menjadi lebih
berarti. Waktu terbatas, 24 jam, sama bagi semua orang. Kita
investasikan kemana waktu ini? Investasikanlah kepada orang-orang yang
bisa membalas atau punya peluang lebih banyak membalas, kepada
orang-orang yang ada keterikatan lebih dekat, dan itulah keluarga,
istri, suami dan anak-anak.
Kita bisa saja
menginvestasikan waktu kita untuk hobi, pekerjaan, tapi hobi, pekerjaan,
barang tidak bisa membalas cinta dengan cinta. Tetapi keluarga, anak,
istri, suami bisa membalas cinta dengan cinta. Karena itu berikan
waktumu untuk orang-orang yang kau kasihi. Berikan waktumu untuk
orang-orang terdekatmu. Berikan waktumu untuk anggota tim suksesmu.
Berikan waktumu untuk orang-orang yang engkau hargai, engkau cintai,
engkau miliki. Saya percaya itulah cara membangun keluarga yang bahagia,
kokoh dan sejahtera.
Kita tak pernah merasakan betapa
berharganya waktu bersama orang-orang yang kita kasihi, sampai kita
sadar mereka telah meninggalkan kita, dan kita belum memberikan banyak
waktu bagi mereka.
sumber : INSPIRASI MENDIDIK ANAK
What Little Girls Wish Daddies Knew
by Tara Hedman
What men say to their daughters now matters for years to come. Tara Hedman asks them to choose their words carefully.
I’m spending the morning waiting for my car in the repair shop. Four men in flannel (I missed the flannel memo) and I sit around smelling tires and inhaling exhaust fumes while an enchanting little fairy is in constant motion around her daddy. She climbs on him, giggles, turns around, and then she’s back to twirling on the tile.
She’s bouncing and spinning around in her pink frilly skirt. Her
black cable knit tights are sagging around her tiny knees, and her puffy
coat makes her arms stand out further than is natural. To top off the
ensemble is a shiny crystal tiara. It’s been tacked down to her head
with what appears to be about 60 haphazard bobby pins.
She’s probably four years old. So little, so vulnerable. She doesn’t seem concerned about it as she sings about teapots and ladybugs in her black Mary Janes. I feel myself tear up as I watch her. I tear up as I watch him watch her. She could not possibly know at four what impact this man, his character, or his words will have on her for years to come. And, maybe he doesn’t know either.
So, to all the daddies with little girls who aren’t old enough yet to ask for what they need from you, here is what we wish you knew:
1. How you love me is how I will love myself.
2. Ask how I am feeling and listen to my answer. I need to know you value me before I can understand my true value.
3. I learn how I should be treated by how you treat my mom, whether you are married to her or not.
4. If you are angry with me, I feel it even if I don’t understand it, so talk to me.
5. Every time you show grace to me or someone else, I learn to trust God a little more.
6. I need to experience your nurturing physical strength, so I learn to trust the physicality of men.
7. Please don’t talk about sex like a teenage boy, or I think it’s something dirty.
8. When your tone is gentle, I understand what you are saying much better.
9. How you talk about female bodies when you’re ‘just joking’ is what I believe about my own.
10. How you handle my heart is how I will allow it to be handled by others.
11. If you encourage me to find what brings joy, I will always seek it.
12. If you teach me what safe feels like when I’m with you, I will know better how to guard myself from men who are not.
13. Teach me a love of art, science, and nature, and I will learn that intellect matters more than dress size.
14. Let me say exactly what I want even if it’s wrong or silly, because I need to know having a strong voice is acceptable to you.
15. When I get older, if you seem afraid of my changing body, I will believe something is wrong with it.
16. If you understand contentment for yourself, so will I.
17. When I ask you to let go, please remain available; I will always come back and need you if you do.
18. If you demonstrate tenderness, I learn to embrace my own vulnerability rather than fear it.
19. When you let me help fix the car and paint the house, I will believe I can do anything a boy can do.
20. When you protect my femininity, I learn everything about me is worthy of protecting.
21. How you treat our dog when you think I’m not watching tells me more about you than does just about anything else.
22. Don’t let money be everything, or I learn not to respect it or you.
23. Hug, hold, and kiss me in all the ways a daddy does that are right and good and pure. I need it so much to understand healthy touch.
24. Please don’t lie, because I believe what you say.
25. Don’t avoid hard conversations, because it makes me believe I’m not worth fighting for.
—Photo Peter Werkman/Flickr
http://goodmenproject.com/
What men say to their daughters now matters for years to come. Tara Hedman asks them to choose their words carefully.
I’m spending the morning waiting for my car in the repair shop. Four men in flannel (I missed the flannel memo) and I sit around smelling tires and inhaling exhaust fumes while an enchanting little fairy is in constant motion around her daddy. She climbs on him, giggles, turns around, and then she’s back to twirling on the tile.
She’s probably four years old. So little, so vulnerable. She doesn’t seem concerned about it as she sings about teapots and ladybugs in her black Mary Janes. I feel myself tear up as I watch her. I tear up as I watch him watch her. She could not possibly know at four what impact this man, his character, or his words will have on her for years to come. And, maybe he doesn’t know either.
So, to all the daddies with little girls who aren’t old enough yet to ask for what they need from you, here is what we wish you knew:
1. How you love me is how I will love myself.
2. Ask how I am feeling and listen to my answer. I need to know you value me before I can understand my true value.
3. I learn how I should be treated by how you treat my mom, whether you are married to her or not.
4. If you are angry with me, I feel it even if I don’t understand it, so talk to me.
5. Every time you show grace to me or someone else, I learn to trust God a little more.
6. I need to experience your nurturing physical strength, so I learn to trust the physicality of men.
7. Please don’t talk about sex like a teenage boy, or I think it’s something dirty.
8. When your tone is gentle, I understand what you are saying much better.
9. How you talk about female bodies when you’re ‘just joking’ is what I believe about my own.
10. How you handle my heart is how I will allow it to be handled by others.
11. If you encourage me to find what brings joy, I will always seek it.
12. If you teach me what safe feels like when I’m with you, I will know better how to guard myself from men who are not.
13. Teach me a love of art, science, and nature, and I will learn that intellect matters more than dress size.
14. Let me say exactly what I want even if it’s wrong or silly, because I need to know having a strong voice is acceptable to you.
15. When I get older, if you seem afraid of my changing body, I will believe something is wrong with it.
16. If you understand contentment for yourself, so will I.
17. When I ask you to let go, please remain available; I will always come back and need you if you do.
18. If you demonstrate tenderness, I learn to embrace my own vulnerability rather than fear it.
19. When you let me help fix the car and paint the house, I will believe I can do anything a boy can do.
20. When you protect my femininity, I learn everything about me is worthy of protecting.
21. How you treat our dog when you think I’m not watching tells me more about you than does just about anything else.
22. Don’t let money be everything, or I learn not to respect it or you.
23. Hug, hold, and kiss me in all the ways a daddy does that are right and good and pure. I need it so much to understand healthy touch.
24. Please don’t lie, because I believe what you say.
25. Don’t avoid hard conversations, because it makes me believe I’m not worth fighting for.
◊♦◊
It’s pretty simple, really. Little girls just love their daddies. They each think their
daddy hung the moon. Once in a while when you look at your little gal
twirling in her frilly skirt, remember she’ll be grown one day. What do
you want her to know about men, life, herself, love? What you do and say
now matters for a lifetime. Daddies, never underestimate the impact of
your words or deeds on your daughters, no matter their age.—Photo Peter Werkman/Flickr
http://goodmenproject.com/
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Monday, December 30, 2013
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