Couples & Co.: I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced so...

Couples & Co.: I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced so...:     “My wife got sick.  She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and problems with children.  ...

Edi Akhiles Blog: KAJIAN HUKUM MENGUCAP SELAMAT NATAL

Edi Akhiles Blog: KAJIAN HUKUM MENGUCAP SELAMAT NATAL: Bolehkah mengucapkan selamat Natal kepada sahabat, tetangga, dan kolega yang merayakannya? Setiap jelang Natal, perdebatan tentang ini se...

15 Tips Agar Anak Menjadi Anak Papa

Pada umumnya, anak akan lebih dekat dengan ibunya. Meski ada juga sebagian anak dekat dengan papa. Ada berapa hal mengapa anak selalu dekat dengan ayah atau lebih dekat dengan ibunya. Anak akan lebih dekat dengan ibunya karena anak merasa lebih nyaman dan lebih senang bila ibunya ada di dekatnya. Dan itu sudah terjadi mulai lahir hingga anak menjadi besar.
Salah satu faktor utama biasanya anak akan lebih dekat dengan salah satu orang tuanya bila dirasa lebih nyaman dan lebih dilindungi.  Hal itu terjadi tidak hanya dalam waktu sekejap tetapi memerlukan tahapan yang panjang dan terus menerus. Ibu banyak lebih dekat dan berperanan dengan anak karena sejak lahir hingga usia balita dan remaja anak lebih dekat dengan ibunya.
Jika ingin anak lebih dekat dengan anak maka ayah harus sedikit berperanan seperti ibu sejak kecil meski tidak harus dengan kuantitas waktu yang selama dengan ibunya. Karena ayah sebagai kepala rumah tangga yang mencari nafkah, dan waktu terbatas maka yang penting kualitas komunikasi yang harus dipentingkan.

Sehingga bagaimana agar anak menjadi lebih dekat dengan ayah, sebaiknya setiap perilaku kita harus ditujukan supaya anak lebih nyaman, lebih senang dan lebih dilindungi. Untuk meraih hal tersebut maka ayah harus memberikan kasih sayang yang tulus dengan kualitas dan kuantitas yang cukup.  Kasih sayang tersebut bukan hanya kebutuhan materi tetapi juga dapat berupa belaian, gendongan dan komunikasi yang baik.

Tips anak menjadi anak papa atau dekat dengan papa

1. Beri perhatian bila anak menangis dan sedih. Dekati bayi atau anak anda bila sedang menangis, sedih atau ketakutan. Saat bayi menangis perlu dekapan ayah supaya anak merasa lebih nyaman dan lebih tenang bisa dengan menggendong dan mengganti popok saat bayi menangis . Tenangkan dengan sabar dan penuh kasih sayang bila anak balita anda menangis atau ketakutan. Hal itu juga harus dilakukan sampai anak bertambah usia baik saat usia balita, usia anak sekolah bahkan saat remaja. Saat anak remaja anda sedih, galau atau sedang menghadapi kegagalan beri perhatian dengan kasih sayang dan belaian dan ciuman di pipinya agar anak merasa tenang dan nyaman. Perhatian saat anak galau ini bukan hanya bermanfaat terhadap anak, tetapi akan memberikan pelajaran kepada ayah tentang pentingnya empati pada anak bila sedang cemas dan sedih. Saat ini karena kesibukannya ayah sulit belajar untuk memberikan empati dan impati yang baik terhadap anaknya.

2.  Menyuapi dan mendampingi makan. Di usia bayi, ternyata tugas yang remeh ini bagi ibu dapat lebih mendekatkan kenyamanan pada anak sehingga mengapa anak dekat dengan ibunya. Ayah juga harus sekali-sekali merasakan memberikan makan pada bayi dan menyuap makan pada anaknya. Pada umumnya tugas  itu merup[akan hal paling tabu dan  paling menakutkan bagi para ayah.  butuh kesabaran dan toleransi pada anak. Anda bisa menggantikan tugas istri untuk menyuapi si kecil dengan mengajaknya bermain atau membacakan cerita sambil makan. Bila anak sudah beranjak deawasa maka mendampingi makan pada anakmerupakan perilaku yang dapat lebih mendekatkan kedekatan psikologis anak dan ayah.

3.  Bermain dalam waktu senggang. Di waktu senggang kadang ayah lebih sibuk dengan urusan kantor yang di bawa kerumah, menonton televisi atau bermain BB dibandingkan bermain dengan anak. Sisihkan waktu untu anak anda meski tidak lama untuk bermain. Bermain bisa dilakukan di tempat tidur, di kamar mandi, di halaman atau dimana saja saat anda berada.  Bermain dengan anak bisa membantu membangun ikatan batin antara anak dan Anda. Jika si kecil berusia di bawah empat tahun, mainan sederhana yang bisa dilakukan. Jika ia sudah berusia di atas empat tahun, Anda berdua bisa memainkan beberapa mainan yang pastinya lebih ‘menantang’.

4.  Merawat anak. Perawatan rutin pada anak biasa dilakukan oleh baby sitter dan ibunya. kadang hal ini yang membuat mengapa anak lebih dekat dengan perawat atau ibunya. Meski tidak harus setiap hari secara berkala minimal seminggu 2 kali sebaiknya ayah ikut melakukan perawatan bayi dan anak. Seperti memandikan, mengganti baju, memakaikan sepatu dan kegiatan lainnya sambil bercanda dan bernyanyi dengan anak

5.  Bicara dan berkomunikasi dengan baik. Komunikasi dengan anak harus dilakukan sejak bayi hingga tumbuh dewasa. Pada saat bayi, bisa dilakukan kapan saja. Bisa saat memandikan, saat memberi makan, saat memberi susu. Pada anak balita sebaiknya ajak anak bercerita, melakukan permainan atau bermain sandiwara dengan anak. Pada anak lebih besar bisa dilakukan komunikasi dan bersenda gurau di mobil, saat mengantar anak sekolah, di meja makan atau dimanapun ayah berada dekat dengan anak. Komunikasi tersebut dapat dilakukan dengan kata, lagu atau belaian kasih sayang dan ciuman ringan di pipi dan kening anak.

6.  Beri tanda mata, meski hanya kecil dan sederhana saat pulang ke rumah. Saat ayah berpergian baik bepegian dekat atau jauh, baik dari luar kota atau luar negeri atau bahkan pulang kantor. Beri anak anda hadiah bisa berupa makanan ringan, buku, atau benda-benda yang menarik yang dapat anda bawa dari kantor, toko atau dari manapun anada berada. Saat di kantor dalam waktu senggang anda dapat membuatkan mainan dari lipatan kertas atau gambar menarik saat melihat majalah atau buku di kantor. Bila di kantor anda mendapat snack atau makanan ringan, tidak ada salahnya sekali-sekali anda bungkus untuk dihadiahkan pada anak anda sesampai di rumah. Bila anda melakukan rutin dan sering maka jangan heran anda akan selalu dinantikan dan disambut anak di depan pintu rumah saat anda pulang kantor.

7.  Menjadi panutan. Anak-anak sangat mencerminkan orang tuanya. Oleh sebab itu, berilah contoh yang baik sejak anak masih kecil, terutama ketika mereka beranjak besar, selalu perhatikan setiap perkataan dan tingkah laku Anda.

8.  Beri dukungan dan pujian. Setiap pilihan anak atau prestasi anak atau kelebihan anak asalkan tidak menyimpang, sebaiknya didukung dan diberi pujian. Tak ada salahnya jika Anda menjadi ayah yang demokratis bagi anak. Jangan pernah memaksakan kehendak karena tidak ada kekuatan yang lebih besar untuk seorang anak daripada dukungan ayahnya. Pemberian pujian dan dukungan bukan hanya dengan hadiah tetapi cukup dengan pujian kata-kata disertai belaian ndan ciuman di pipi anak.

9.  Jangan terlalu keras dan memaksa. Pada anak tertentu yang keras kepala dan emosi tinggi seringkali pendekatan yang keras dan memaksa berdampak tidak baik pada anak. Bukannya anak menurut, tetapi sebaliknya justru anak suka menentang. Saat ingin memberikan pengertian pada anak atau memberikan larangan pada anak harus dilakukan dengan pelan dan kasih sayang serta disertai penjelasan yang masuk akal nalar anak. Tetapi bila anda melarang dan merahi anak dan memaksa anak tanpa penjelasan dan alasan yang rasional maka seringkali pada anak tertentu membuat anak lebih suka menentang dan memusuhi ayahnya.

10.  Berilah ciuman meski anak sudah terlelap. Berilah ciuman kepada anak anda minimal 3 kali sehari. Saat anda pergi ke kantor, pulang dari kantor atau sebelum tidur. Berilah ciuman pada anak meski anak sedang tidur saat anda pulang larut malam.

11.   Jangan menggoda berlebihan. Seringkali ayah menggoda anak berlebihan hingga anak menangis. Menggoda anak hingga anak menangis dianggap momen yang menyenangkan bagi sang Ayah. Tetapi tidak disadari hal yang berlebihan membuat anak menangis akan membuat anak tidak nyaman dan mencari pelarian ke ibunya untuk mengadu bahwa ayah membuat si anak tidak nyaman. Saat anak mengadu pada ibunya, itulah anak merasa lebih nyaman dengan ibunya. Jangan memberi julukan pada anak yang membuat anak sakit hati dan marah.

 12.   Isteri jangan jangan melecehkan atau mengolok-olok ayah di depan anaknya. Seringkali beberapa isteri mempunyai perilaku mengolok-olok dan menyindir ayah dengan perkataan dan sikap negatif. Misalnya, papa ini pemalas, tidak bantu papa. Papa ini pelit tidak belikan adik mainan. Hal yang dianggap bercanda ini bila terlalu sering akan mencetak memori pada anak bahwa sosok ayah selalu menjadi sosok negatif. Sosok negatif ini memuat anak tidak senang dan tidak nyaman. Bila hal ini dilakukan isteri anda, sebaiknya bicaralah dan berdiskusilah dengan isteri.

13.  Biasakan minta maaf kepada bayi dan anak anda. Setiap anda melakukan kesalahan, perkataaan kasar, bicara terlalu keras, emosi dan memarahi anak sebaikjnya segera meminta maaf pada anak. Sampaikan dengan lembut dan sayang ayah khilaf dan tidak akan terulang lagi.

14.   Jangan bertengkar dan bersuara keras terhadap isteri di depan anak. Sebaiknya ayah menghindari berkata keras, berteriak, bertengkar apalagi melakukan kekerasan terhadap isteri di depan anak. Pada kasus tertentu, hal tersebut membuat anak trauma dan lebih dekat ibunya dan lebih mengkasihani ibunya karena dianggap selama ini ibunya uayang merupakan sosok yang paling dekat disakiti dan dianiaya meski hanya dengan kata-kata.  Bila ibunya disakiti maka secara alamiah berati juga menyakiti si anak. Bila ini terjadi maka sosok ayah merupakan sosk negatif yang tidak nyaman untuk didekati. Bila hal itu sudah terlanjur terjadi sebaiknya dengan segera dekati anak, belai dan cium dan segera meminta maaf kapada anak terhadap segala kekerasan kata-kata atau fisik terhadap ibunya.

15.    Biasakan tak bawa pekerjaan kantor ke rumah. Bila hal itu sering dilakukan, maka akan mengurangi kualitas dan komunikasi komunikasi anda dengan anak. Pekerjaan kantor di rumah sering membuat anda malas untuk menyuapi, mengganti popok dan menggendong bayi. Pekerjaan kantor yang menumpuk  membuat anda segan bermain dan bercerita saat tidur. Bila perkerjaan kantor tidak bisa dihindari harus dikerjakan di rumah, utamakan anak daripada pekerjaan kantor. Sebaiknya anda lebih mengutamakan perkejaan kantor hanya saat di kantor bukan di rumah.

Petunjuk penting : Bila tips tersebut dilakukan dalam waktu beberapa bulan, maka anda akan merasakan hasilnya. Petunjuk positif yang dapat dilihat saat anak lebih dekat dengan ayahnya adalah

-  Bila menangis yang sebelumnya minta gendong ibunya sekarang anak berlari minta digendong ayahnya.

-  Saat pulang kerja anak berlari minta gendong papanya untuk minta ciuman

-  Bayi akan lebih tenang dan lebih nyaman digendong ayahnya dibandingkan digendong ibunya saat menangis lama.

-  Anak balita anda minta disuapin, minta dimandikan atau minta bobo dengan ayahnya.

-  Bila hal itu belum dilakukan berusahalah lebih keras lagi untuk melakukan beberapa tips tersebut di atas seraya seringkali meminta maaf  dan memberi kasih sayang yang lebih

“Hal-hal terbaik yang dapat anda berikan kepada anak-anak selain tingkah laku yang baik adalah kenangan yang indah.”

Sumber :

www.kompasiana.com

catatan arie saptaji: Jemaat Mula-Mula Merayakan Natal

catatan arie saptaji: Jemaat Mula-Mula Merayakan Natal: Mengapa orang Kristen merayakan hari Natal? Adakah dasarnya dalam Kitab Suci? Ada. Dalam 2 Timotius 2:8, misalnya, tertulis, "...

spiritualinspiration

Kelainan Jiwa Bisa Diungkap dari Gerakan Mata

Ungkapan mata adalah jendela jiwa tampaknya bukan sekadar omong kosong. Para ilmuwan Inggris mengembangkan teknologi diagnosa kesehatan jiwa melalui uji pergerakan mata.

Ilmuwan Inggris mengembangkan tes kamera terbaru yang bisa mendiagnosa kesehatan mental seseorang. Melalui pergerakan bola mata, bisa diketahui bagaimana kisaran kesehatan mental seseorang.

Revolusi teknologi ini didasarkan teori lama yang menyatakan bahwa cara yang tidak normal saat melihat suatu objek berhubungan dengan keadaan jiwa seseorang. Tim riset percaya, alat uji ini dapat membedakan penderita skizofrenia, gangguan bipolar dan depresi berat. Peneliti menggunakan kamera khusus yang mengikuti pergerakan mata, saat melihat suatu gambar di layar komputer.

Seseorang yang menderita skizofrenia tidak mengeksplor seluruh gambar, layaknya orang dengan kesehatan jiwa normal. Penglihatan penderita skizofrenia cenderung terpusat pada satu titik dan tidak melihat titik lainnya. Pada pasien yang menderita gangguan bipolar atau depresi berat, perbedaan yang muncul lebih halus.

Penyakit skizofrenia, gangguan bipolar dan depresi berat memiliki gejala yang hampir sama. Ketiganya sulit dibedakan menggunakan metode tradisional yang ada.

"Temuan ini adalah langkah perubahan dalam dunia psikiatri. Teknologi ini bisa mengatasi kegagalan diagnosis pasien yang menjalani pemeriksaan dengan scan otak atau DNA. Tes pergerakan mata memberikan hasil 95 persen akurat dalam 30 menit. Hasil ini tidak bisa dicapai teknik lain yang menyaratkan beberapa tahun untuk diagnosa penyakit," kata Madhu Nair, yang bekerja sama dengan Philip Benson dari Aberdeen Univeristy dan Chair of Mental Health, Professor David St Clair.

Berbagai uji lanjut dibutuhkan sebelum teknologi ini digunakan kalangan luas. Namun Nair mengatakan, pasien seharusnya dapat mengakses teknologi ini melalui layanan kesehatan dalam beberapa tahun ke depan.

Inovasi ini mendapat sambutan baik Professor Nick Craddock dari Royal College of Psychiatrists. Ia mengatakan, teknologi ini dapat memperbaiki dan meningkatkan akurasi hasil uji laboratorium. Kemajuan ini tentu lebih baik untuk mendiagnosa gangguan mental berat.

"Hubungan antara pergerakan mata yang tidak normal dan penyakit mental berat membutuhkan lebih banyak riset. Gangguan ini tidak hanya berefek ada kesehatan fisik, otak, tetapi juga pikiran," kata Craddock.

http://health.kompas.com

SEHAT ALA BONCEL

Jika anda ingin tetap sehat sampe tua salah satu hal yang harus dilakukan adalah anda harus tetap menjaga kesehatan, dan berikut ini adalah apa yang saya dapatkan pagi hari saat ngopi dan ngobrol dengan tukang parkir berjuluk Boncel, yang bercerita bagaimana dia harus tetap fit dan sehat saat bertugas sebagai tukang parkir.

Boncel berumur 50 tahunan namun tetap terlihat sehat dengan melakukan hal-hal seperti ini setiap harinya:

• Setiap pagi setelah bertugas malam dia selalu menyempatkan minum jahe, kalau perlu minum jamu.
•  Sarapan bukan dengan nasi dan lauk yang berat, hanya membuat perut tetap berisi tidak dibiarkan kosong.
• Berjemur matahari sebentar, katanya ini adalah proses pembakaran didalam tubuhnya.
• Mandi dengan air hangat, jangan mandi langsung dengan air dingin seteah begadang semalaman untuk bekerja. 
•  Lanjutkan dengan tidur yang secukupnya saja, setelah jam makan siang bangun, mulai makan nasi dan terus lanjutkan dengan bekerja atau melakukan aktifitas yang lainnya.
•  Jangan lupa adalah berdoa, kita punya bagian untuk meminta umur panjang, selebihnya usaha kita untuk tetap menjaga badan kita.

Sudah lama Boncel meninggalkan acara minum-minuman keras, meskipun dia sering berada di jalanan dan hidup dengan gaya kekerasan, bahkan ngopi pun bisa dihitung dengan jari katanya karena kopi beda dengan ngeteh atau minum jahe, kata dia lagi kopi itu mempengaruhi bagian dalam dan ngampas didalam jadi nggak sehat (saya kalau nggak ngopi...hidup ini ada yang kurang rasanya :) )

Paling tidak pagi ini saya bisa belajar dari seorang yang sederhana perihal kesehatan dan tubuh saya. Dan berusaha untuk tetap terus selalu fit...bukan hanya buat kita sendiri, namun...lagi-lagi katanya betapa senangnya nanti saat kita tua masih menyaksikan anak kita berhasil menjadi ‘orang’ dan cucu-cucu kita bermain bersama.

Lalu...srruuuuuupppuuut....tegukan kopi terakhir digelas saya bablas...hmmm...tetap saja ngopi itu nikmat. Hahahahaha....

Laugh! It's Good for You!

He will yet fill your mouth with laughing, and your lips with rejoicing. — Job 8:21

It was a great surprise to Scrooge... to hear a hearty laugh. It was a much greater surprise to Scrooge to recognise it as his own nephew’s and to find himself in a bright, dry, gleaming room, with the Spirit standing smiling by his side, and looking at that same nephew with approving affability!

“Ha, ha!” laughed Scrooge’s nephew. “Ha, ha, ha!”

If you should happen, by any unlikely chance, to know a man more blest in a laugh than Scrooge’s nephew, all I can say is, I should like to know him too. Introduce him to me, and I’ll cultivate his acquaintance. It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good-humour. When Scrooge’s nephew laughed in this way: holding his sides, rolling his head, and twisting his face into the most extravagant contortions: Scrooge’s niece, by marriage, laughed as heartily as he. And their assembled friends being not a bit behindhand, roared out lustily.

“Ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha!”

“He said that Christmas was a humbug, as I live!” cried Scrooge’s nephew. “He believed it too!.. He’s a comical old fellow... that’s the truth: and not so pleasant as he might be. However, his offences carry their own punishment, and I have nothing to say against him.”

—A Christmas Carol

In his article “The Winsome Witness,” Charles Swindoll calls laughter “the most beautiful and beneficial therapy God ever granted humanity.”

Dickens also saw the benefits of laughter. He often used irony and satire to make his readers laugh. In this scene from A Christmas Carol, we see the contrast between Scrooge, a grumpy, anything-but-merry old man, and his young, fun-loving nephew. Laughter was a foreign concept to Ebenezer Scrooge. He saw no value in being merry, just as he saw no value in people celebrating Christmastime.

Yet the Bible is filled with stories of rejoicing and celebration. One example is when Sarah gave birth to her son — when she was a very old woman. It was such an unbelievable miracle that Sarah laughed with joy. She said,

“God has made me laugh, and all who hear will laugh with me." — Genesis 21:6

God’s own sense of humor is apparent in the story of Balaam and the talking donkey (Numbers 22). Imagine the man, Balaam, beating his poor donkey, when she opens her mouth and says, “What have I done to you, that you have struck me?” (Numbers 22:28). Surely, God must have laughed at Balaam’s shock and surprise when his animal spoke to him.

Proverbs 17:22 reminds us, A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

So remember to laugh, long and often. It’s good for you!

from A Charles Dickens Devotional 

Turn Disappointment to Thanksgiving

Your setback may actually be a wonderful new appointment or plan for your life, namely, God's plan.

By Norman Vincent Peale

Disappointment is a prevailing and common adversary of the human spirit and may strike you almost anytime. Therefore one should learn to deal with it. Four verses can be of great help in so doing. “Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward” (Hebrews 10:35). When disappointment strikes, simply hold tight to your confidence. Do not petulantly toss it away. Instead, affirm. I am confident. I believe.

It will require some mental and spiritual effort to maintain confidence. Your tendency may be, in desperation, to toss it. So focus your mind by an act of will on confidence. The promise of the text is that such practice will bring great reward. “Bless the Lord, O my soul and forget not all his benefit” (Psalm 103:2).

The practice of thanksgiving is a great viewpoint changer. Add up all the benefits you possess. This wise verse tells you to start thanking the Lord for all the benefits He has given you, instead of mentally, and perhaps vocally, harping on what you glumly believe has been denied you... Be content with what you have; for he has said, “I will never fail you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). The word contentment derives from two Latin words, con and tenere, meaning to hold together.

When you have faith in God, your mind will hold together so efficiently that you can always recover from a disappointment. Thus you can be content and, out of contentment, great things can happen. “We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

When disappointed, try loving God all the more. Carefully analyze yourself to make certain you are thinking and living in harmony with His spiritual purpose. It could be that you are off the spiritual beam. Instead of dwelling upon the word disappointment, think of it as “Hisappointment.”

What you regard as a disappointment may actually be a wonderful new appointment or plan for your life, namely, His plan. Always take a positive view toward disappointment. It could be that through disappointment you are being shown another way or being led toward something different. If you have tried sincerely and prayerfully, and things have not gone well, then look upon disappointment as an opportunity to ask whether you should move under God’s guidance in another direction.

This article is excerpted from Navigate: How the Bible Can Help You in Every Aspect of Your Life..

Starting Over

The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. - James 1:9
 

Do you find yourself in humble circumstances? If so, James tells us that we are to take pride in this "high" position. These two things would seem to be an oxymoron. Most of us would not consider humble circumstances a high position. Successful business tells us that being on top means being wealthy, attaining favor and status, or having power to influence. However, Jesus influenced not from power, but from weakness. 

J.C. Penney is a name synonymous with department store. He first launched his chain of "The Golden Rule" stores in 1907. In 1910 his first wife died. Three years later, he incorporated as the J.C. Penney company. In 1923 his second wife died giving birth to his son. In 1929 the stock market crashed and he lost $40 million. 

By 1932, he had to sell out to satisfy...creditors. This left [Penney] virtually broke. ...Crushed in spirit from his loss and his health suddenly failing, Penney wound up in a Battle Creek, Michigan sanitarium. One morning he heard the distant singing of employees who gathered to start the day with God: Be not dismayed, whate'er betide, God will take care of you.... Penney followed the music to its source and slipped into a back row. He left a short time later a changed man, his health and spirit renewed, and ready to start the long climb back at age fifty-six. 

By 1951 there was a J.C. Penney store in every state, and for the first time sales surpassed $1 billion a year. [John Woodbridge, ed., More Than Conquerors (Chicago, Illinois: Moody Press, 1992), 340-343.] 

The success of J.C. Penney can be traced to God's mercy in his life to bring him out of his humble circumstance. Do you find yourself in a humble circumstance? God is the only one who can help you see your humble circumstance from His viewpoint-a high position. It is a high position because of what God is going to teach you in this place. He does not intend you to stay there; it is merely a stopping place to learn some important things you would not learn otherwise. Press into God and trust Him for the outcome to your circumstances.

www.TodayGodIsFirst.com

Shadows

You can have no fear when shadows cross your pathway.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me …” Psalm 23:4

This verse is often read as comfort in the presence of physical death. Yet whenever the shadow of loss of any kind crosses our pathway our natural inclination is to respond in fear.

Loss comes in many forms: 

the death of a dream; the loss of health; finances; a job; the loss of a friendship; a home; a marriage.

The threat of loss often casts its fearful shadow unexpectedly. Global and national situations can cast shadows of potential loss. A looming medical test; unsettled talk at work; the tense edge in a relationship can all throw shadows across our hearts.

This beautiful Psalm acknowledges that we do walk through valleys that cast the shadow of death along our way … and yet we do not need to fear those shadows. Even in the midst of them we are reminded, “I will fear no evil, for You are with me”.

We never need to fear a loss of hope when shadows come. Shadows are part of life as our days lengthen and change. Yet the shadows need not define us nor paralyze us with fear. They need not make us retreat nor cower. For our God walks with us through the valley where the shadows cast a distorted image.

We need not fear. 

 He comforts us as we go. He prepares a feast for us even in the midst of hostile territory. He anoints us with His joy and our cup can overflow with the knowledge of His goodness and mercies following us as we courageously walk on. Our good Shepherd leads us and we can trust Him fully, even in the shadows.

Thank you LORD GOD that You are my Good Shepherd and that You lead me today. If a shadow of loss threatens to darken my way today may I lean  hard on You, allowing Your comfort to fill me, Your joy to bubble up in me and Your peace to replace my fear. May I see the goodness and the mercy that are following me as I confidently follow You along the pathway of life. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

by Gail Rodgers

Weak Is the New Strong

Let's review Samson’s vows:

1.  Don’t get drunk.
2.  Don’t touch anything dead.
3.  Don’t ever cut your hair.

Not exactly rocket science there. But what does Mr. Strong do?

Now [Samson’s] father went down to see the woman. And there Samson held a feast, as was customary for young men. — Judges 14:10

The word feast in this verse is the Hebrew word mishteh (mish-TEH). The word means “feast,” “drink,” “banquet.” It means party. A mishteh is, by definition, a drinking occasion. Samson threw himself a kegger. He called in his buddies and they all got hammered.

His attitude says what many men say: “I’m a strong guy. I can handle a few drinks.” The problem in this case, of course, is that he’s not even supposed to drink at all.

And then we have Mr. I Can Handle It here doing keg-stands.

-  I want it.
-  I deserve it.
-  I can handle it.

Before we judge Samson, let’s be honest about ourselves. How many times have you seen a strong guy turn weak just like this? He thinks, One hit’s not going to kill me. Or, I’m just going to take one of these pills to see what it feels like. Or, I’ll just stay for one drink. He thinks, I can handle it. But before he even realizes it, some substance is handling him.

Maybe you’ve even been that guy.

Maybe substances aren’t your thing. Maybe you’re the guy who thinks, Nice car! I could afford that. Or, Did somebody say “ski boat”? Or, This house just isn’t big enough for our family anymore. You think, Sure, it’ll be tight for awhile financially. But, I can make payments. I can handle it. Only, after awhile, that new ride doesn’t have that “new car smell” anymore. Debt creeps in a little each month, and instead of enjoying your possessions, you start to feel more like they own you.

I know a lot of guys who don’t care about having more things. But when a pretty girl strolls by in a strappy little dress... Oooh, I know I’m not supposed to look, but I want to! Or the Christian guy says to his girlfriend, “Stay. Just a little longer. Let’s just hold each other in our underwear and ... talk.” Or he thinks, I’ll just look this one time. I can clear my internet history. Who’s ever going to know? These guys get caught in the snare of “I want it! Besides, I’m a good guy. I deserve a little break, a little fun. It’s just one time. I’m not hurting anybody. I can handle it.” And before you know it, “handling it” is exactly what you’re doing.

Because of God’s hand on him, with God’s Spirit strengthening him from the moment he was born, Samson was perhaps the strongest man who ever lived. But because he squanders God’s favor through his attitudes — lust, entitlement, pride — he ends up at rock bottom.

His enemies gouge out his eyes and parade him around like some kind of sideshow freak for their sick entertainment. The man who once killed thousands using nothing but the jawbone of a donkey and brute strength, laid low, humiliated, his prized hair long gone. He could have changed the world. He could have been a weapon for the kingdom of God. He should have been. Instead, his story is a footnote in history, a cautionary tale. But Samson himself chose where he ended up by betraying the One who loved him.

And you have the same choice to make.

If you fall prey to our enemy’s schemes, like Samson did, am I saying you’re going to end up just like him? I sure hope not. But you could do worse. Seriously. Just think about what could happen.

If you lose the fight against temptation, denying God’s call on your life, ignoring the gifts he’s given you, living for yourself instead of for the people he made you to stand in the gap for, you could be even worse off. It’s really not even hard to picture it: You’re in your forties or your fifties or your sixties. You look back on a failed marriage (or more than one) and realize, too late, Idiot! So much of that was my fault. Why didn’t I do something when I could? Why didn’t I engage? Why didn’t I fight? Why didn’t I tell the truth? Ask for help? Confess my sins? I have to live the rest of my life with these regrets.

I know plenty of guys whose kids are all grown now, but they won’t come around at Christmastime. Is that where you’re headed? That not only do your kids have no respect for you, they don’t even want to be in your presence? What are you going to do now to keep that from happening then? Do you have the guts?

Do you have what it takes to be God’s man?

Maybe you’re terrified. You’ve been living with secrets, and you don’t see a way out. But let me share a huge truth from God’s Word. In Luke 12:2-3, Jesus said, “There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs”

That’s real, man.

That’s going to happen.

Would you rather be in control of that conversation, or have it happen to you?

It’s so much better to confess your sins and enjoy forgiveness than to be caught in them. There may be a time in your future when your private life becomes public, and you dread seeing anyone because you’re so humiliated by your actions. Let’s not sugarcoat it, guys: that’s where sin leads.

And you know it.

Of course, it doesn’t have to go down that way.

If you choose to follow Christ, there is spiritual greatness within you, a strength to keep going and not stay down. God’s power in your life is that no matter what you’ve done, you can be transformed. You can be new. You can make a difference in this world. You can be a godly man. You can be a godly husband. You can be a godly dad. No matter what’s happened in the past, you can be God’s man. But you do have to keep fighting. You can’t give up.

You have to stop trying to do it in your own strength. Because our spiritual enemy, Satan, is an expert at making strong men weak. Fortunately, and don’t miss this, our good God specializes in making weak men strong.

And God is with you. And He is for you.

Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, “[The Lord] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Lust says, “I want it.”

Entitlement says, “I deserve it.”

And pride says, “I can handle it.”

But we can turn these around. Once we get our hands on our enemy’s battle plans, we can turn them back on him and take our victory (2 Corinthians 2:11).

Your enemy wants to take you out, through selfishness and shame, tricking you into trading your God-given power for things that tempt your fleshly appetites. But if we can just man up, if we can admit that we’re weak and vulnerable, that we need God’s strength and His presence, then He’ll redeem us and fill us with purpose and meaning.

You can be a man of spiritual strength, a man of integrity, a man of courage. You can be a man who defends the defenseless. You can be a man who serves his wife and his family. You can be a man who unselfishly gives to others.

You can be that man. A warrior.

What kind of strength do you want to fight with? Your feeble strength? Or God’s unlimited, unmatched power?

God loves to make weak men strong.

Will you let him?

by Craig Groeschel, from his new book, Fight

A SEASON

HIS LOVE

God's Plan - Redemption

Eventually we all find ourselves staring into the face of truth. The Bible says that man’s soul is “full of troubles” (Psalm 88:3), filled with bitterness, grief, pain, and guilt.

Adam and Eve paid a price for their disobedience. They were driven out of the Paradise of God, His very presence, into the world they had chosen — a world where God’s enemy, Satan, “works in the sons of disobedience” (Ephesians 2:2).

But that is not the whole story. Genesis portrays not only the beginning of the human race, but the start of God’s redemptive work in history. The salvation of the human race was put in place at the very beginning. Because God so loved His creation He initiated a way to make amends for man’s sin. This is the greatest search-and-rescue mission ever carried out — redemption of those made in God’s image.

In the greatest story ever told we see this remarkable hope.

As through one man’s offense judgment came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one Man’s righteous act the free gift came to all men... For as by one man’s disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one Man’s obedience many will be made righteous. — Romans 5:18–19


The love and mercy that overflowed from the heart of God would someday flow in the crimson blood of His Son. From the heart of God to the cross of Christ, redemption came into view. God was not willing to turn His back on the human race. His love was too deep, His mercy too wide. He longed to recover, redeem, and bring us back to Himself.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. — John 3:16


This is what God did for us. God took Heaven’s best — the Lord Jesus Christ — to redeem earth’s worst. The Son of God died on a cross, an instrument of Roman torture made for the vilest offenders.

We, as a race, have been enticed into the service of Satan, but our unfaithfulness and waywardness have not canceled out God’s love for us. Instead, He has made the way for our rescue through His Son, Jesus Christ. He made the sacrifice and paid a price unthinkably greater than our true value. We are redeemed, recovered, and restored, not with money — silver and gold — but with the precious blood of Christ.

You may not believe in Satan and his vise grip on the human race, but it is brutally real, just as real as the overpowering love of God. I can testify to this. I came to believe by faith that God’s redemption plan conquers Satan’s entrenched wickedness that seeks refuge in our souls. God’s forgiveness of sin overcomes Satan’s contempt for God’s redeeming love. God’s forgiveness has the power to cleanse us and restore the relationship He longs to have with us. This is why He has provided the way of salvation. This is why the Bible says we “must be born again” (John 3:7).

It took me a while to grasp this great and wonderful truth. As a young man, my head resisted what my soul longed for — peace from an inner conflict. I fell miserably short of God’s standard of goodness. I wanted to make my own decisions, never considering that some of my choices altered the happiness I desired.

God was not going to force His way on me. I could receive Him and live according to His high standard, or I could reject Him and live in a lowly state with Satan snapping at my heels. How could I resolve this bitterness of soul? The answer came when I considered the Bible’s great redemption story.

I came to the place of repentance for my sin against God, believing in what He had done for me. In order to know the peace that comes from God, I had to confess my sin and come to God.

On the night of November 1, 1934, my hardened soul was redeemed. I exchanged my will for God’s way. I traded my calloused heart for a cleansed soul.

I had sought thrills. I found them in Christ.

I had looked for something that would bring perfect joy and happiness. I found it in Christ.

I had looked for something that would bring pleasure and would satisfy the deepest longing of my heart. I found it in Christ.

I had been redeemed and knew firsthand the promise of the Bible:

In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. — Psalm 16:11

God says to the human race, “I made you, and you are Mine. I have redeemed you. Return to Me” (Isaiah 43:1 and Joel 2:12, author’s paraphrase).

God’s gift of redemption says, “I will buy you back with My blood because I love you. I will free you from the chains of sin. I will settle the conflict within and give peace to your soul. But you must come to Me with a repentant heart. You must be willing to be redeemed. You must exchange your sin-blackened heart for a new heart that is cleansed by My blood.”

Redemption is the Bible’s great theme.

God’s redemption plan is what turned a sordid story into a great story. His rescue mission was executed through His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world. He completed His mission more than two thousand years ago, when He hung on the cross and shed His blood in ransom for the souls of mankind. He died for your sin and my sin. When He conquered death and was raised from the grave that could not hold Him in bondage, He reached out His nail-scarred hands and said, “I’ve come to free you from your bondage and give you new life.”

This story is great because God gives each of us the choice to accept His forgiveness and live with Him eternally. The Bible says that “God is not the God of the dead, but of the living” (Matthew 22:32). God is alive and well and wants no less for those He loves.

From the cross Jesus offered each soul a gift that will last eternally — with no expiration date. His precious blood was applied to your sin. He put His life on the line for you, and His blood is credited to your account. He has covered your sin with His blood, which takes the sting of sin away.

Will you receive it? Have you read His redemption plan? It’s written in blood with you in mind. Have you reached out to accept it? You cannot buy it with money; it has already been purchased for you. But you must surrender all you are hanging on to for something far better — the redemption of your soul.

After you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation... having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession. — Ephesians 1:13–14

Perhaps you think your life is going great and you’ll wait until you are in need of rescue. We live in an uncertain world. None of us knows when our time on earth will be over. Don’t take for granted the gift that God offers you. Don’t presume upon His favor. Jesus has bought back our inheritance of eternal life. None of us deserves it — but He stands patiently with His hand outstretched.

When Jesus walked among men, many believed He had come to save them, but they lost all hope when He was taken down from the cross and buried in a tomb. His followers hid in disgrace and despair. Their Savior had died and left them alone. They were despondent that He had not done what He had promised — saved them from their enemies. They considered all that He had claimed and saw only the blaze of defeat. How could their Rescuer save them if He couldn’t save Himself?

But the Special Force that had come down had not yet completed His mission. His followers had forgotten what He had told them: “I will come again”. — John 14:3

Redemption was fulfilled, as promised, on the third day when He rose from the grave. His resurrection conquered the enemy of death, and shortly afterward, Jesus appeared to His dejected followers who had lost faith. They looked at Jesus, the Man who had shed His blood to put to death the curse of sin. He had returned to them in all of His glory. He had won the victory over death and over sin that entangled humanity.

When Jesus revealed Himself as the resurrected Christ that day, all barriers came down.

He came into the disciples’ presence and offered up His wounds as proof that He had been faithful to His mission — to “preach the gospel” and to “proclaim liberty to the captives” (Luke 4:18). It is His message for people of every generation and of every race and of every nation. Look at Jesus. He came down for you.

Hear a just cause, O Lord... Save those who trust in You. — Psalm 17:1, Psalm 17:7

And He will. You are His precious cargo. He stands ready to break through the conflict that keeps you in bondage. Will you take His hand and let Him free you from the chains of sin?

Look at Jesus. Consider the wounds He endured when He died on the cross for you.

It wasn’t the frame of the wooden cross that had value; it was the bloodstain on the cross that was priceless.

Will you repent? Will you say, “Thank You, Lord, for redeeming me”?

Don’t run and hide or cover yourself in earthly pleasures that will not satisfy. Don’t block out your deeper need to know God.

I have never known anyone to accept Christ’s redemption and later regret it.

After you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation... having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession. — Ephesians 1:13–14

by Billy Graham, from his new book The Reason for My Hope